Integration of the Savage Beast into my Psyche
A Mandala of Wholeness Breathwork Journey
December 30, 2010 at the culmination of the upcoming new year 2011 and Venus 6th gate conjuction with the Moon.
This was a past journal entry that prompted me to pursue further my life's journey. This Shamanic Breathwork journey occured in June of 2006 a week before my life took a great turn. This may have been the point of culmination for my recovery from the spiritual emergency that occured in December 1986 in which I was in a world between fantasy and reality, a life journey to myself. Since that time nearly two decades ago I have been on a very difficult and challenging journey and in June 2006, I took part in a shamanic breathwork with like minded individuals, and experienced a nonordinary reality state that is described in the following selection from my personal journal.
My journey started out with a tragic war between a savage Indian on a stallion and an unknown savage beast of great power. Savage against savage struggling for victory, not unlike what occurs on the battlefield of a great medieval war. The victor of this dramatic battle was already predestined by the heavens. The beast was only an obstacle and barrier blocking the savage Indian's fulfillment. The fierce Indian reveled in the destruction of the beast as he dismembered it piece by piece in the field of death. The Indian's face was red as blood as he screamed his sacred war cry while the beast shrieked in pain. The battle ensued and the Indian continued his attack. The beast became a puddle of organic red liquid in the field of his demise.
The scene shifted slightly and darkness fell upon the dreamer. My body was filled with pins and needles, numb from head to toe and I breathed deeper into the sensations. In the darkness I saw and heard young women chanting around a fire in a cave. They were wisdom figures although age had not taken its toll on these puella aeternus women.
Then I returned to the battlefield with the great beast that was rebirthing out of the red goop, not unlike a phoenix into a dark cloudy spherical mass. The field was transformed into a large chamber and the dark mass dissolved into a corner space behind a wall. I called the beast out with a rhythmic song , "Come out, come out wherever you are!" The beast remained hidden. I called out again and the beast being engulfed me. I took it back into myself and it was reintegrated within me.
I felt complete and sent love to the beast being. I accepted it back into my heart that became full of light and we were at peace. The scene shifted once more, and the savage Indian on his great stallion headed out onto a sandy wet beach of a great ocean, Indian and stallion were one and they entered into the ocean and merged with it. Scene shifted once again and the stallion grew wings, Indian and stallion united flew into the great blue sky. We emerged into a vast golden field of grass and wheat and in the distance there was a young maiden with golden hair riding a black mare. We met, I, on my mustang stallion and her on her mare. The young maiden acknowledged my presence and there was no longer any separation between us, we were one. The drum sounded and I returned to the Oregon Coast at Oregon house in an altered state. It took a couple of minutes to regain fortitude as I returned.
This is how I would interpret the archetypal planetary relationships in my journey. First of all, I think the beast the savage Indian destroyed represented the Scorpio job with the Scorpio tribe. Scorpio also has the quality of the phoenix rising out of the ashes. After all, the beast did transform into a dark spherical cloud. Then I believe it was my Venus in Cancer that accepted the beast and integrated it back into myself. The archetype of Sagittarius is represented by the stallion the Indian rode into the ocean and then flew to the golden field where he met the golden-haired maiden on the mare.
The union of the maiden, mare, Indian, and stallion is my Gemini rising and Gemini Sun. As you can see, there are four entities, and the Gemini energy is a dualistic archetype(two times two). The maiden could also be a projection of my Cancer Venus as I was having a Venus return as well. The sea is a representation of my Neptune conjunct my natal moon. In this journey there were also other animals that participated in the journey at the beginning that I didn't originally mention. They were black panther, and wolf. They were the ones that took me to the great battlefield of my psyche. I think the women around the fire represented my Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter in Taurus in my twelfth house in the feminine expression conjoined, dancing and chanting around a fire in a cave that seemed to calm me down and encouraged me to breathe deeper into the experience when the beast was transformed into a dark spherical cloud. It is kind of scary when your body reflects the tetany that can occur when you breathe i.e., the tingling, or the feeling of pins and needles in your muscles, similar to the sensation when your foot or leg falls asleep but if you breathe into it, the sensation will disappear.
Did you have similar conclusions in the interpretation of the dream as I had? Each one of us will have a completely different experience in a breathwork journey of this type. Kate Mckee and Daniel Giamario take time after our breathworks to discuss these journeys and can provide insight into a person's psyche as defined in part by Shamanic Astrology. They are both very sensitive guides along the way and can help you make sense of your breathwork if you are so inclined to pursue this dreamlike expression of your psyche. Kate McKee and Daniel Giamario co-facilitated these workshops four to six times a year when certain transitory planetary alignments are occurring as defined by the Harbingers of the Turning of the Ages, the mother organization of the Shamanic Astrological Mystery School and Mandala of Wholeness.
Also, since 2006, Mandala of Wholeness has been dissolved, but Daniel Giamario continues to promote his message through SAMS ( Shamanic Astrology Mystery School). In 2010, SAMS was given non profit status and continues to train Shamanic Astrologers for the upcoming new age we are beginning.
In 2010 I was accepted to the Arcane School of Esoteric Studies, reactivated my SAMS membership, and been accepted to the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology's online Global Master's of Arts in Transpersonal Psychology.
Arcane school was started by Alice Bailey, the Tibetan, and her followers and I am pleased to be a disciple on this Path. This is another step in my grand journey to myself as I become a light bearer for the new age to come.
Enrolling at the Institute's Global Master's of Arts in Transpersonal Psychology program is another great step on my journey. As I update this web site, it is interesting to notice Pluto the Planet of the Underworld, of Power and Control is opposing my natal Venus in Cancer for the first time in my life. It will continue to oppose this planet for the next two years, and after that will never again be in this position for the remainder of my life. Daniel Giamario, my Mentor and Teacher likens this to a major transit with respect to the projection of my feminine Self, or Soul Self. He says for any other person, I would warn them that this transit could be a very dark transit often causing such things as divorce, or separation of an extreme kind with their feminine partners, while at the same time a very powerful sexual and emotional transit for these men who are dealing with the transit. Not everyone will ever get an opposition of this type to their natal Venus as Pluto moves so slow in the heavens.
I reference this transit as a strong projection or satisfaction of my feminine partner needs not with any woman but to a place where I can become further connected to the Great Goddess of Mother Earth in a nourishing and fulfilling way. I am excited about the possibilities with respect to this transit in my natal astrological chart.
Multiple religious and spiritual prophecies common among all the religions of the world, are concluding like the Mayan Calendar that we are indeed creating and dawning the New Age of Aquarius that begins in 2012. Welcome to 2012 the year we can take back our freedoms, the year we will begin to create with 99% majority the world we have dreamed of for a millennia. Being a species of the Mind, Heart, and Soul, humanity has the power of possibility, and free will, and as Frank Herbert says, in his "Dune" novels, "Fear is the MindKiller", and fear being such a powerful emotion, the destiny and success or failure of society is in the hands of all of us. Scientific and Spiritual Sources have shown that our attitude can affect what happens to all of us as we make this transition from one great age to the next.
I am adding this most recent posting five days after 2/22/2012 which was a gate opening for setting our intentions as a species. Millions joined together on 2/22/2012 and throughout their days they focused on their intentions for this Great New Age we have entered, the Aquarian Age. Some say we might had already entered into the New Age at Christmastime 2011, because the theoretical research of the numbers was suggesting that the Mayan's were actually pointing to Winter Solstice 2011 as the opening day. If that is the case, then we are now in a dark time, in between the seconds of our existence, a time of illumination and growth in preparation when things once again get solidified as our seeds of the new age begin to grow. There is a scene in Babylon 5 the series that came out in the mid nineties and played when the Captain is on the Dark Evil Planet in the far edges of our galaxy and he has just detonated a 100 megaton bomb, in the heart of the Evil planet source of the Dark Aliens ones, the Shadow race. He is falling and it is assumed that he is dead in between the eternal moments of time ticking away, he meets the First One, the First Alien who has lived for several millennia, the first form of humanoid life in our Galaxy, a Galactic Lifeform. Maybe it is our time to meet our Galactic Lifeform, the First one, our Essential Self where all life evolved out of in our Hearts. Join me in my journey as I assist you with yours.